As I was doing today’s reading, I had a special tarot spread filled with Major Arcana cards. The energies from these cards are as strong as their deeper meanings, and I can’t help but notice that one Minor Arcana card so powerful that it trumps all the major ones: the Queen of Cups (reversed). Hence, I felt an urge to dig deeper into this monstrous energy, and I thought, someone out there may be asking for a sign. In this reflective post, I will discuss the toxic girlfriend signs, with guidance revealed through the tarot.
I write this with the intention that someone out there would know when to recognize abuse, and likewise, reflect on whether the toxicity of the world right now is impacting the way we speak or see ourselves. Let us reflect whether we’re operating in such, and dive deep with me and hear what Oracle wishes to say.
But first, let me briefly explain what Major Arcana means to me, and why I decided to transform my daily tarot spread to an essay (lol), only because I saw a Queen influence 2 Major Arcana cards. The divine feminine is just so powerful it deserves a post on its own.
Major Arcana, what?
Major Arcana signifies a major point in our lives. The Tarot is often feared by many because of its ability to “predict” the future. But have you ever wondered why films resonate with your life experiences? The tarot goes the same way, because both film and Tarot borrow from the Hero’s Journey in Mythology and the character archetypes.
The Major Arcana is analogous to the major beats in a film, inasmuch as it relates to our life hurdles. And at least from my perspective, these are the turning points in our lives that we need to confront head on.
As a lightworker and a tarot reader, let me tell you this early, that there is nothing to fear about these cards. The only fear you have to fear is when you do not fear anything anymore! Because there is no more room for growth, and you like the loneliness being on top.
Let me show you the very special reading we have today.
Energies from your 3-card spread
Past: Queen of Cups (reversed) – In the past, you may have been so attached to someone that you feel like you can’t live without him/her. This could also be a grudge you were holding into. Certain situations also brought emotional imbalance. You felt victimized–perhaps by your own emotions, or by someone exerting too much control on you.
Present: The Hierophant – You are sticking with tried-and-tested solutions, or sticking with the rules in order to win this back. You are conforming and following tradition to uncover mysteries that may have eluded you in the past.
Future: Death – Transformation awaits you. The universe promises you a complete turnaround, only if you wish to liberate yourself from those shackles (The Devil).
This is where the toxic girlfriend signs seem to fit. Allow me to discuss how the Queen of Cups is my toxic girlfriend card, and how its energy unknowingly works well with The Devil (overarching energy). As a result, the energy of the Death card looms in.
Whether the reading feels positive or not to you, take only what resonates. So, let us look at the 5 toxic girlfriend signs. Know that simple recognition of any of these will lead to a positive outcome.
The toxic girlfriend signs: 5 Ds
Expect to be treated like a queen if you treat your person as a king. A person who truly embodies the Queen of Cups (or the energy of a queen in general) need not exert her power forcefully enough to be noticed by others. It has to radiate effortlessly, that it fills the room with light.
A true queen need not lift a finger to exert power, and she knows how to read non-verbal cues–this is empathy. In the same vein, she need not verbally communicate for her presence to be felt. Drenched in grace, a queen need not cry in the corner to be noticed. She does not feel like being a victim, only because she does not perceive herself to be.
Everything a boyfriend does seems to be faulty for the toxic girlfriend. Moreover, she sweats the small stuff. The boyfriend wasn’t able to greet her on their monthsary? He gets locked out of the room. He wasn’t able to return her self-proclaimed sacrifices? The toxic girlfriend reacts as if it’s the end of the world.
Look, this has nothing to do with the other person’s inability to reciprocate the efforts of the girlfriend. What makes it toxic, is that the “queen” would resort to sulking over things she can actually do for herself.
“I have given everything”
This is where the tricky part lies: toxic girlfriends will pour their hearts out to someone. They will do everything in their power to do what they believe would make their boyfriends happy. For instance, they will gladly offer their body, time, and full attention to their man. And then they will glorify this act as if it’s the best gift in the world. But once it’s not reciprocated, they scowl and swear to the core of the earth, as if it was asked in the first place.
I am not saying that men are naturally ungrateful and that it has to be asked first before a woman can be generous. To give with conditions–this is where the problem lies.
To love others more than you love your self is more toxic than anything else, because you have betrayed your own self-worth.
Individuals who honor their higher selves are clear about what genuine love means to them. Hence, they don’t jump into a relationship if the other is not even aligned with the love and respect they have for themselves. A queen, in this regard, knows when and how to receive. Similarly, she knows how to set and communicate her boundaries.
Alignment comes first, otherwise, everything may become conditional.
A clingy girlfriend is the epitome of the Queen of Cups reversed. This is the feeling of not being able to start the day without the other person, and not being able to live life with other people if the boyfriend is not around.
And so, let me drop the bomb quite lovingly: this, my friend, is a sign of insecurity. Why? Because you perceive that you can only gain traction if your boyfriend will hold the ground for you. And you willfully stitch your happiness around another person’s joy, as if you need that stitching, to begin with.
A queen knows her joy, and she needs no one to validate it.
The Devil and its shackles
If you look at the bigger picture, once your person leaves, you run the risk of feeling empty. And it is of your own doing, simply because you surrendered your will, power, and worse, your identity to the other.
This is where today’s overarching energy sets in: The Devil.
The Devil signifies co-dependence. It dances in a merry, mocking rhythm when someone succumbs to its controlling power. And what’s worse, when the supposedly nurturing woman becomes The Devil herself.
Look at the picture on the card. It’s as if you are willfully taking those steps towards the mind of others, and you bring yourself in their own energy. You begin to claim your identity as theirs. Hence, it’s as if you don’t have a mind of your own. This is a clear sign that you are failing to listen to your own inner guidance.
Above all, you are willing to do something against your highest good, in the guise of love.
Toxic girlfriends will find drama in everything: from not giving her the attention she thinks she deserves, to glorifying everything she has given. And worse, she expects it to be returned. And so the relationship revolves around what she has given, and what has not been given back to her. It’s toxic simply because of that one word: expectation.
Love can be a shiny entrapment object for the willing. While romantic love is best shared, it should never be used to fill a hole inside you. Fill your own cup, so you would never ever need to ask for someone else to fill it up for you.
Once your partner fills your cup without you asking for it, it becomes unbreakable like the tip of the iceberg, and enticing like the icing on the cake. No spelling out needed.
This is the simplest explanation for gaslighting, which is reminiscent of a narcissistic relationship. Gaslighting is when a person dismisses your feelings, making you feel that you were wrong about thinking or feeling that way.
You know you are being dismissive if you are so good at turning the tables around.
This is when you make a super smart-ass, clever, and emotionally-charged argument that immediately overturns the issue. Combine it with a shared quotable quote from the internet, and just like that, you overshadow your own partner, as if your feelings are far more superior to his.
A toxic girlfriend is someone who will demand you to look at the situation the way she looks at it as if her lens is the right and only way to see it. Moreover, because she’s the “queen” she will never go down her high horse, because she’s always right, as if being right equates to two to tango.
The easiest but often overlooked way to spot a toxic relationship (if not a toxic partner), is to ask yourself: “Are you happy?” and much as you believe this shouldn’t be asked because of that thing called love, you miss out on honoring yourself because you care too much about honoring the other. Love is ironic, I know.
Sometimes you become encumbered by the “demands” of a loving relationship that you often confuse that it’s part of a loving relationship. Similarly, you settle, and you believe that it’s just tough love.
You refuse to see incompatibility and repair it with acceptance, and you confuse the mental torture with happiness being elusive. You look beyond yourself and give more, with the hopes of behavior change from the other, only to realize in the end that all of these are your own doing.
Toxic girlfriend signs: How to stop it
The 9 of Cups as the possible outcome was one of the primary motivations for me to combine this reading with a personal reflection of what a toxic girlfriend is.
The 9 of Cups signifies emotional and wish-fulfillment card. Nines mean enlightenment, and the last step towards completing an emotionally fulfilling journey.
Perhaps you are on this path, and this reading comes to you at the right moment.
This card comes to you with the message that sensual delight and spiritual bounty lie on the horizon. This is the self-love card, and I feel so happy to have this as the end of the tarot spread, because as vague and general it may sound, self-love is the antidote to that monstrous energy. It is also the only way to get your horrible (if this is your perception) partner to change, if change is what you truly desire.
Let me show you the rest of your Oracle cards, which clarify every inch of the message I’ve read via the tarot.
Think like a virgin
Okay, before you come up with a nasty thought and judge the attention-seeking headline right there, this is all about having a beginner’s mind. Mindset changes everything, and once you do, you will radiate it strong enough that people will actually change their behavior too.
Sometimes we just have to acknowledge that other people’s actions only reflect what we need to change in ourselves.
And all we have to do reflect on what the situation is teaching us.
Attracting toxic partners often becomes a pattern. Why? Because we never practice what we learn. We cannot heal from the same place as where we were broken, and perhaps we project this brokenness to our partners.
So, how do you think like a virgin? Acknowledge the toxic behavior, stop judging yourself, and act on it with compassion.
And this is what Mother Mary wants you to know.
Channel the Virgin Mary
Mother Mary is the embodiment of unconditional love and acceptance. In this special tarot reading, she is your spiritual guide who brings healing. You are invited to let go of the need to be right, and learn to choose your own happiness by choosing to forgive (your self included). Mary’s miraculous light is here to help you wash away that darkness.
This card is also an affirmation of the Hierophant (present card)–know your values, and learn to stick to it, especially in finding your partner. Sometimes toxic attitudes can be a result of poor choices. For instance, you jump into a relationship because they’re filthy rich, even if they don’t treat you right.
Judge a man not by what he owns or has achieved, but how he treats you.
Mother Mary offers you her hand, and all you need to do is take it. Clearly, her loving presence is a reminder of who you ought to be: a nurturing, loving, and an understanding person.
Spirit invites you to bring the Queen of Cups energy upright: sensitive and receptive, emotionally mature, empathetic, and kind-hearted.
Cultivate a shift in mindset
I consider this card the same as the Death card: a chance for rebirth. Kill that toxic behavior, and allow yourself to emerge as the true queen. If you are bothered about a relationship that has ended, allow it to be, because this is a sign of second chances, stronger opportunities, and love after loss.
This reading could mark the seed that’s been planted. Recognizing the toxic girlfriend signs is a start. That start sparks the change in mindset. Consequently, the change in mindset heralds the coming of a true queen. Cultivate it.
Before I end this special reading, I would like to thank you for getting to the end. I always work with the intention that may my intuitive work contribute to the joy and freedom of all, and may this be for the highest good of all.
Just like we talk about co-dependence, always exercise your free will, and do not live life around the tarot. What I have done here is just a way tarot works best for self-reflection. The action is yours to take and always remember: we have free will.
The Devil energy teaches us that entrapment is only for the willing. Regeneration and happiness are for everybody, only if you wish to own it. /highfive!
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