Reiki Diary: On PCOS and Getting Pregnant
This is my first Reiki Diary, wherein I write about my stories as I practice Reiki to my friends and/or clients. I will relay the visions and feelings we experience during the Reiki session. PCOS and getting pregnant may sound impossible, but I hope you find some sense of inspiration through this post. Please follow my story as I share how I feel deeply inspired by how Reiki gracefully transforms lives.
I am doing this to celebrate Usui Reiki (August 15 is Mikao Usui’s birthday), and how my discovery of this healing modality deepened my connection with self and friends. First, let me articulate my thoughts about my Reiki journey.
I never imagined how tangibly powerful love can be, until Reiki
We get too insecure about what we don’t know, so we adjust–we adjust with trends, with knowledge we think we should know, and with wisdom we only attribute to the elderly and seek outside ourselves. Older people are wiser of course, but it doesn’t mean that newly-attuned ones are any less. And that’s what made me pursue my practice further.
I was one of those practitioners who felt insecure about my own Reiki practice, simply because I lack the experience. And I was not born to a family of healers, so I don’t feel legitimate, to say the least. But that’s how Reiki equally transformed me: my karma, past life, hurts, and even lessons are my own. And this also explains why each Reiki session for me is unique.
The ancient wisdom may be universal, but the lens through which we see and give love is uniquely our own.
There is no such thing as legitimacy for something so unquantifiable as love.
We may be familiar with all the love languages, and we know how to express love. But to express love to someone who annoys you? Both in expectation and reality–it was difficult. But I learned it through Reiki. And it healed me.
Me as a Reiki practitioner
I know I am inherently kind, but I am so blunt and brutally honest I can actually (albeit unintentionally) burst someone’s bubble without batting an eyelash. I can speak the harshest truth unapologetically, that’s why I’m usually quiet. I’d rather shut up than apologize for what I said after. When I was a kid, my mom would describe me as someone who could tell someone “I don’t like you” so easy, and that there’s “something” about my hands. They used it to their advantage, and so I was appointed as my dad’s massage therapist. How cool.
Because of my not-so-nice and introverted self, sometimes I think I don’t deserve to be a healer. However, it seems like the universe has a plan for me. And this story gives me the clarity to that divine plan. I found my soul purpose through Reiki, to say the least.
I am both visual and kinesthetic, so I can see in my mind’s eye the shape and form of the blocks in a person’s body as I gently lay my hands on their energy centers. I will save the illustration of how those blocks look like in my next Reiki diary. Also, I have a different visual saved up for today. On a side note, if you’re curious how I do Reiki, you may check out my What is Reiki Energy Healing? blog post.
For today’s Reiki story, let us refer to my hero as Mandy.
Mandy worked with me on a creative project. I invited her to join me simply because she knows art. I like hitting two birds with one stone, so I also invited her to reconnect, and offer her a sanity break because we’re shooting in a premium nature spot. She is a consummate artist and such a weird person (I mean that positively, and she’s aware that I describe her like that). She has a history of a mental disorder, and I have known her to be struggling with her emotions most of the time.
No communication for 3 years
After our shoot, I turned into a hermit–I stepped out of social media and focused on my graduate thesis. I studied for the dreaded comprehensive exams and worked on writing and defending my thesis. It took me 3 years.
My graduate thesis is also about Reiki: Transcendental Film as a Simulation of a Meditative Experience. It was extremely difficult to open the discussion about the concept of divine communication in the Social Sciences, particularly in a graduate program. And so with courage (and joy), I defended it to a Philosophy professor, alongside Communication and Film scholars. That deserves another post on its own, so for now, back to Reiki and Mandy.
When I reconnected with Mandy, it was an instant hit and we had a long and thorough conversation. We continued where we left off, and she was surprised to hear that I am now into healing arts and a devoted yogi. She has been waiting for some time to message me–there was just a nudge inside her to hit me up. And so, while my tone and our topic are quite different, it was divine timing nonetheless.
The conversation that brought us to a Reiki session
Mandy has been struggling with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), and she finds essential oils as therapeutic. Both of us were probably thinking that PCOS is more manageable and that it does not directly affect her quality of life, so it was not the intention of my Reiki offer. Moreover, she is often encumbered by depressing thoughts and mood shifts that offering her a listening ear as well as validating her feelings are normalized in our conversations.
In one of our conversations, we were discussing the beauty of meditation. I shared with her how I manifested going to Europe without any savings, only through meditation. I also shared how beautiful visualization is, and that it can bring someone to places, both literally and figuratively. And as a highly creative individual, it would be fun and easy for her to try it.
However, she cannot quite resonate when I asked her to do a visualization exercise with me. I asked her to remember the feeling of being happy. She can’t do it. I told her, how about Christmas? How do you feel about Christmas? It becomes much more vague to her. I began to feel like speaking alien stuff, almost inviting her to bounce off the conversation. And that’s when I politely offered to let her try Reiki with me.
The fun part
A common friend and I went to her home and began talking endlessly about crystals, essential oils, art, and life. The Reiki session was almost forgotten, that we did it by the time it’s time for us to go home (it was already past 11 pm)!
I asked her to lie down on their sofa. We were binge-watching Game of Thrones on their widescreen TV that time while binge-eating a pasta she cooked. We can’t afford to go somewhere else quiet, but comfort is the priority, so we did it on the sofa. While that doesn’t sound good, her sister and our friend are on the side, watching. (haha!)
The Reiki session
I started my brief meditation and then I laid my hands on her head. As I started with the crown chakra, I began seeing a purple flower on the foreground. Almost like a flower picked particularly for a studio shoot because what I saw was that flower on a pitch-black environment. My hands unexpectedly lingered on the first body part (the head), only to find out after the session that she had a headache.
I progressed on the heart chakra, and flowers begin to multiply–now with a variety. Then I felt like lingering (again) on the next body part: the shoulders (it just felt so heavy), and then on her stomach. I began to think, ah maybe because that was her first time. There were just too heavy energies maybe we would finish this in 2 hours, I thought.
How did I feel the heaviness? It felt like there’s a magnet inside her, like pulling my hands to her soul. I just can’t move my hands towards the next body part. The flowers alternated between blooming and growing, and then clamming up and dying. They faded and blended with the pitch-black background. It was like turning a light switch on and off throughout the journey.
An allusion to Ophelia
As I progressed, that’s the flowers grew exponentially, and there was an image of a woman lying down. She was peaceful, almost like a corpse on the river with beautiful flowers around her. It was reminiscent of the painting Ophelia. Until the end of the session, it was just these elements: the river and flowers. The river was still, but the blooming flowers were so animated like a slow-motion timelapse.
After the session, we processed her experience. Then I learned about her acid reflux, shoulder pain, and headache. I was also reminded of her PCOS, when I told her that I felt something heavy around her pelvic area. Moreover, I spent too much time around it, that I already felt my limbs go numb. I also dismissed her PCOS at that moment because I thought her medications got that covered. Her mental health was my utmost concern.
The image below is to the best of my memory how I can illustrate my first Reiki session with her. She saw a blue-colored goddess (we presume it’s Shiva), among other wonderful visuals she saw. As much as I want to relay it, that’s for her to tell, not mine.
We did Reiki once again at my home, only with the intention to help her obtain mental balance, and for relaxation. There must be something that’s troubling her, I thought, so I felt happy to welcome her in my place, which was just like a month after our first session.
And then after a couple of months, I got a message from her: she is pregnant.
PCOS and getting pregnant: The icing on the cake
This post is just the icing on the cake of how Reiki brought healing to her, and how with the gift of grace she embraced the thought of PCOS and getting pregnant.
How in the world did she get pregnant? I still don’t know. While my immediate answer to her was, “because you are now ready…it’s you, not me,” my heart flutters to hear her say the baby is our Reiki baby. I am so grateful for this larger-than-life gift, it was the first time I gladly offered to be someone’s godmother (yes, I say no to godmother-ing)!
God works in mysterious ways, and Reiki is just one way to bring certainty to that mystery.
How our friendship deepened through a simple Reiki session transcended the beauty of physical healing. Above all, our newfound connection is beyond words that a simple narrative wouldn’t even give justice to that felt beauty.
If you have a Reiki story to tell, just send me a message to firstname.lastname@example.org and I would love to publish it. Hit me up also if you have any question. And of course, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
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